Wednesday, January 25, 2012

  • Although time seems to fly, it never travels faster than one day at a time. Each day is a new opportunity to live your life to the fullest. In each waking day, you will find scores of blessings and opportunities for positive change. Do not let your TODAY be stolen by the unchangeable past or the indefinite future! Today is a new day!

    What do you think about that quote? It was on facebook this morning. I take it as a sign from above. A message that I needed to hear today. I look for little things that will  make me feel better, make the kids feel better, make my brother less sorrowful. But I realize it's like jumping into a cold pool, back in those swimming lesson days. You know it's going to be unpleasant, but you have to get in there and do it. No backing out. 

    That's how the day seems to me. I wake up, say to myself, this is real and not a nightmare, throw my legs out of bed and get on with the day. There's no turning back, it will hurt, but you have to do it. I have been at my brothers for the last two days. I go up in the afternoon and come home about 8:30. My mom will be there for the next three days. She spends the night. I really don't do much when I'm there. Maybe a load of laundry, set the table and help with homework. Mostly I watch TV with the kids. The weather hasn't been good, rainy and cold. Not much to do. Everybody seems to want to cuddle on the sofa. While I know this can't go on, and you can only watch so much TV, it seems what we all need right now. We chat, laugh a little. Yesterday we watched Modern Family. Such a funny show. It helps to laugh.

     Soon signs of spring will start to show.The days will get a little longer, baseball and spring sports will start. The days will get filled. Things will be busier. Not normal like they used to be. Never that way again. But this little family will come to know a new normal. I pray for their pain to lessen, and for them to feel some happiness again. This will take time....a lot of time.

    I had my weigh in today, and I lost. I felt a little happy. I don't know if I am ever going to feel real, ecstatic happiness again. My logical mind tells me that that I will, but right at this moment, small bits of gratitude are as close to happiness as I get. I was so obsessed with my weight. Now, although I care, it is put into the proper perspective. And I'm losing! Think about that when you feel upset at the scale next time. Maybe taking the intense focus off of it, doing what you know works, and taking it day by day, are what you need to do. The watched pot never boils!

    I made the almond flour muffins from Dawn's blog yesterday. I am really enjoying them. I also am really into ricotta cheese these days. The other morning, I just didn't want my normal egg breakfast. For a change, I took a 1/2 cup of part skim ricotta cheese ( s/c = 0/4), mixed it with a truvia packet ( s/c = 0/3) and some cinnamon, topped it with a 1/4 blackberries ( s/c= 2/3) and some toasted sliced almonds ( s/c = 0/1.5) I really enjoyed this for a total s/c of 2/1. It also has about 8 gms of fiber and a whopping 18 gms of protein. I used the values from myfitnesspal. 

    This spoons are really great. One is 1/4 cp and one is 1/2 cp. 

    Ricotta with chia, blackberries and almonds!

    Sending you all love and big hugs.

    Thought for the day: 

    “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong


  1. Oh, Pattie, I love that quote. I think it is sooo true. Part of living life fully is to fully feel the painful moments as well. This is what allows you to eventually move beyond them because you acknowledge them, but beyond their purpose of the moment they can hold you back if you hold onto them. Tears are meant to wash away the pain. I hope all of you can feel the pain, allow it to be what it is, cry your tears of healing, and eventually find a place of peace. It's all a process and needs to be allowed to unfold as such. Health and healing to all of you. Hugs.

  2. Oh, congrats on the weight loss. You're right, we need to put weight loss into proper perspective. It should not make or break our day.

  3. Do not let your TODAY be stolen by the unchangeable past! I love that part of the quote and it's so true, although sometimes hard to do. What your family is dealing with was so shocking, that no one had time to prepare or toughen themselves for what was to come. It was not just grief you had to deal with but the shock. I love that your family is so united and strong for each other. I hope all of your pain ends soon.
    I know you're not finding much joy in things these days, but I think it is so great that you lost weight. Maybe you're right its better to not focus so hard on making the weight come off and then it will just happen.

  4. Hi Pattie,
    I am sorry you are still having a hard time. I have lost many people: uncle, grandpa, 2 of my own brothers, my mom, dad. That's just the ones I can think of off hand. The pain does go away and you will think about them and smile and laugh instead of cry. It will.
    On the good note, great job with the loss and that ricotta stuff sounds awesome and I will try that tomorrow.
    Have a great day :-)

  5. Hope! I love that word! I love that quote, I love that it gave you some peace!
    It's funny with comments back to you, I always write what I would say to someone face to face, someone that could see the love in my eyes and know I am saying it with love. I can't do that with you so I end up starting over, and over, and over....I just want to say what everyone else has said, but more.
    Seize the day. As hard as it is, live. I just know that is what Beth would want for all of you. Being there for her kids in normalcy is a HUGE gift. Some people will always be there in "fun" times, but not everyone just sits and watches TV. You are doing awesome.
    As far as the weight loss, GREAT JOB!!! Don't let the weight control you thoughts, let your thoughts control your weight:) Easier said than done.
    I really hope you are allowing yourself to cry. I really didn't for so many years. It is cleansing!
    Blessings my friend! And a big hug to a loser!!!

  6. I love those spoons! I don't feel like I can add anymore than Kay and Beth and Minichick. Just know that I am here for you, too. XOXO

  7. Pattie, I love the Lance Armstrong quote... it is so true. The pain will go away and you will be left with her beautiful memory and legacy in her children. How are they doing?

    I found a really low sugar cottage cheese and I have it with chia over the top and really like it. The chia adds a nice texture to it.

  8. Today is a new day and every breath is a blessing. We need to remember that and I know that you do. I know this is a little off topic but last night I was driving to WalMart and I had a run in with an incident of road rage. A man who didnt know what he was doing was driving in the middle of the road and when I passed him (I was in the correct lane) he laid on his horn and sped up to ride my bumper. I was really scared and wasnt sure what to do but I remained calm and as he flipped me off and screamed obscenities at me (and HE was the one in the wrong, not me!) I prayed that God would keep me calm and not allow me to react to this angry man and he did and he kept me safe. I prayed for that man and thanked God and the angels protecting me. I know it seems very empty in your world now but I do believe that God is holding you all close to him.
    You are in my heart and my thoughts, even though I have been having trouble posting comments, I hope you know this. Sometimes more is said by what we DO than by what we say so cuddle with those kids and know that its things like that that they will remember most.
    Love you!

  9. OMG!!! It posted!!! YAY!!!!!!!

  10. I love the quote and I do believe God gives us signs like that to get us through the tough times. I can tell you that this pain will get easier it just takes time. And remember that just because your life is moving forward does not mean you have forgotten about Beth. She is looking down on you with a smile.

  11. Pattie, I don't have much to add other than I'm thinking of you & your family. I pray that the new normal brings with it some closure though I know Beth will never (and could never) be forgotten or replaced. Just know you're all still in my thoughts & prayers!

    Great job with the loss and still making choices that are good for you in the midst of this new world you're navigating.