|I'll be here in Lake Como, Italy, this time next week!!|
A while back I bought Geneen Roths book, "Women Food and God". As with most books I read about, or see talked about on a TV show, I buy them and never fully read them cover to cover. So anxious am I to get to the "meat' of the book, that I skim through, trying to get to the good parts fast. I need his information now...right now. I need to sit and gradually read these books ( Wheat Belly, Secrets To A Healthy Metabolism, and Make It Paleo come to mind), and really grasp what they have to say. I'll get to it eventually right?
Then there are the endless blog sites that I subscribe to, recipes sites, and self help sites. Usually, I peruse them quickly, but this morning, this one from Geneen Roth really caught my eye. Read it below and let me know if any of you see yourselves in her story. I did.
This was from Geneen Roth's newsletter that was in my email inbox this morning. Very good stuff!
If all those foods were equal -- if you could eat bread with the same recklessness that you could eat broccoli -- what would you choose?
Take your time. There is no rush to decide. The food will be here.
"I'd eat everything!" you say.
Or "I'd dive into the triple-cream Brie and never come up for air."
"At last," you say, "I get to ignore my diabetes and scrape all the icing from the carrot cake and eat it with a spoon."
And some of you say, "Gimme a break. Cholesterol is real and so is my heart condition. And, by the way, what's the point of this fantasy?"
Before I get to the point, I want to tell you one of my favorite stories about eating what you think you want.
Years ago, a woman named Oona attended one of my
All in all, it was your basic mother-daughter war. Miranda hid food from Oona; Oona was enraged that, despite her hyper-vigilance, her child was gaining weight.
My solution floored both of them. I spoke bluntly to Oona: Fill up a pillowcase with Miranda's favorite food -- M&M's -- and give it to her, and whenever it gets even a quarter empty, fill it back up again. Stop commenting on her body. End the war now. Come back to me in a month and tell me how it's going.
Miranda thought she had died and gone to candy-coated heaven. Oona just wanted to strangle me.
A month later, Oona was convinced that miracles did happen.
During the first week, Miranda took the pillowcase everywhere; she even slept with it. For the first time, she could eat what she wanted without feeling rejected by her mother.
During the second week, she stopped taking the pillowcase to school. She ate fewer M&M's.
In week three, she hardly touched them. By week four, she never wanted to see another M&M again.
Although this story actually happened, I'd like you to take it as a metaphor rather than as an example of something you should try with yourself or your daughter, because the point of both stories is not the food but your attitude about it. The point is stopping the war you have with yourself and your body. The point is that we can be free from the endless cycle of depriving and restricting ourselves if we cultivate tenderness and kindness toward ourselves.
What would happen if, right now, you gave yourself permission to like, respect -- even adore! -- yourself without first having to earn it by losing 10 or 20 pounds?
This new self-respecting you wouldn't need to seek comfort in food because you would no longer be rejecting yourself
Most people say they gain weight when they eat what they want. But the truth is that people gain weight when they eat what they DON'T want -- and then eat copious amounts of what they believe they do want because they're afraid they'll be deprived again. They gain weight because they argue with themselves constantly and then, bruised from the argument, eat ice cream to comfort themselves. Most of the time, and I know this is hard to believe but it is the truth, what we eat has nothing to do with the food itself; it has to do with the internal dialogue of warring with yourself. When you end the war with yourself, your food choices radically change. Every single time.
True kindness has no calories. True kindness is deciding right now that you deserve to respect and honor yourself -- here, today, no matter what. When you make your food choices with that sort of kindness, your whole life becomes a feast.
― Geneen Roth