Dear friends, I am sorry to keep posting sad blogs. It's where I am right now. So sad, so mad, so tired. My little nephew broke my heart today. He had circles under his eyes. He said 'Aunt Pattie, I always have bags under my eyes.' He is so quiet and sensitive. He is hurting and nothing seems to help. This is how it should be. Nothing can help when your world has been ripped apart. I told him that I would be there and Grandmom would be there, and although everything had changed, we would try to make sure nothing else changes. He will get his braces on, go to baseball practices in the spring and get picked up from school when he needs to be. I hope this brings him some comfort, although sadly, his pain is so new and raw. His older sister is being the brave girl. Trying to be involved in the planning, comforting everyone else, trying to step into her moms shoes. This will hit her after Wednesday's service. We will be there. to try and pick up the pieces.
This is my very last memory of Beth, and the very last time I saw her. It was Christmas Day at my house. Her and my future daughter in law were cracking themselves up, trying to make some words....okay dirty words...out of little petit four Christmas cookies that someone sent. Not really obscene words but silly sayings out of the word Merry Christmas. They came up with the saying, 'Cram your ____" and the two of them laughed until they couldn't breathe. It was hilarious to watch how much fun they were having acting so silly. My very last memory of Beth, was Beth being Beth. Always funny, always smiling, always being the life of the party. I couldn't have known she would be gone just 11 days later. I'm grateful for the memory now. It was truly Beth at her best.
Pattie, no need to apologize for writing about the pain that you and your family are going through right now. I lost both my mother and my brother instantly. They died of heart aneurysms too. You can never prepare yourself for a loss of a loved one. I found comfort in writing about my pain and receiving so many kind thoughts and prayers from people who didn't even know me. So I pray that God give you and your family much needed strength to make it through this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteType away...
ReplyDeleteThese are beautiful memories and photos. Thank you for sharing them with us.
XOXO
I love these fun photos of your Beth...and they'll be a comfort to her children some day as well.
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures and it is exactly something that I would do! She sounds joyful!
ReplyDeleteThere are still no words that I can give to comfort you, but I can and would be happy to read your words and your thoughts. I am honored that you would trust memories of someone you loved so much with us. I hope it helps to share your private thoughts with us. I'm sure you are trying to appear strong too.
Bless you all. Write on....journal on...pour it out, rage...
I'm so glad her last days were spent enjoying life, family and friends. I think you are doing such a good job with your nephew and niece. I think at their age, letting them know you are there for them and their routines will go on is the most comforting thing you can do. It will a rough year for everyone, but you all seem to be such a tight, loving family that are really there for each other.
ReplyDeleteWhat Beth said. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd you keep writing, dear. None of us mind! :)
Keep typing away, are thoughts & prayers are with & your family. Mary B
ReplyDeletePattie--I've been reading all your posts but have not had a chance to send a note until now. My heart goes out to you and your family. I can tell that you two were very close and she was a beautiful woman (inside and out from what you've shared). Keep writing about her as much as you need to. We are all here for you.
ReplyDeleteMuch love-
Susan
My first thoughts after reading this were, "I wish I could give you a hug right now". I can feel your sorrow through your beautifully written words. Life is so precious and this reminds me to appreciate every day we are given. I want you to know that I wrote your name as well as Beths & your familys name in our prayer petitions book at church on Sunday. This book is taken up at offetory time and all the names in the book are included in our prayers during mass &throughout the week. YOu are close in my thoughts and although I have never met you, I feel like we have known each other a lifetime and have been the best of friends for many many years. Please know that I am sending you my deepest condolences and many many hugs to you and your family as you say goodbye to this beautiful lady. Her loss will always hold a void in the hearts of many.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you my friend....xoxo...
Just thinking of you and your family today Pattie. Life is so fragile and shocking sometimes.
ReplyDeleteCherish the memories and thanks for sharing with us. You and your family remain in my prayers.
ReplyDeletePost away, PLEASE!!!!! We want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly....plus it's very therapeutic and healing for you to own your emotions! Keep it up (and make sure your niece and nephew feel free to cry or yell or whatever. They need to express their feelings so that they can heal.) Beth may be gone, but I can't think of a better way to remember someone's last moments than by remembering their laughter and silliness. That is a very special memory that you are lucky to have experienced :) Big HUGS to you!!!!
ReplyDeleteCarey
Such great pictures and what a great last memory. That really made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYou do what you want and say what ever you want, we are here for you. :-)